Last night I was going through my journal and I found an entry I wish to share.
A Meditation
January 2012
I caught an interloper - I caught this intruder red handed. I was deep in meditation and I caught her. I think it had been hiding for years or at least in recent years, a very sneaky, insidious interloper at that. But tonight I noticed it and I drove it out. I told hit how outraged I was and I sent it so far away, that it has no chance of returning. It has been propelled into the stratosphere. This intruder will be floating aimlessly through space, never causing harm to anyone, ever again.
This interloper was a naysayer, rising insidiously in the recesses of my mind and tonight I caught it trying to undermine some visualizing work that I was doing on abundance, on what I want to manifest now for my life. I was seeing and restating what ideas I have and in a flash I noticed it, literally noticed this thought arising. It was like I could see it slowly rising up out of the right side of my brain, like a little head poking up out of the recesses of temporal lobe, for a quick look around and an an opportunity to interject a self-defeating thought,“you’ll never have all of that" right into the middle of my postive visualizations. When I noticed this negative thought arise I was outraged. My eyes got wide. “How dare you undermine me! I have caught you and I don’t believe one word of what you are saying. I am sending you far away, out of my mind, you and any other devious naysayer who might be lurking around. So pack your bags and tell your friends to do the same. Get out and don’t come back. No more self-doubts for me. You are being replaced with yea-sayers. They will so crowd my mind that there will no longer be any room for naysayers on the scene. You are done here, finito, kaput. You aren’t going to hold me back from my dreams."
This is the actual conversation I had in my mind when I noticed that negative thought arise. Our minds do a lot of that negative self-talk and we most often never notice it. In all the years of meditating, I have never seen so clearly how a thought can just sit there on the sidelines, waiting to jump in at an opportune moment. It was truly an “ah ha” moment. In our waking states we are so busy thinking or planning, our minds are so busy chattering, that we most likely never notice when these little self-sabotaging moments happen. But we need to pay attention.
I am sharing all of this because I want you to take notice of your own thoughts;notice what is happening in your life. If you are trying to move forward, planning something new, looking to fulfill a desire and you keep getting undermined, look first to your own thinking. We are co-Creators of our own reality and so it is essential to make sure that some interloper in the recesses of your mind is not holding you back. Pay attention to your thoughts and if any negativity is lurking there, chase it out, refuse to believe it. In meditation terms that means don’t attach to such a thought. Just notice it and watch it go by. But maybe that is not always enough. I think sometimes you need to help it along, be more active and intentional. Send your interloper flying out the door and refuse to allow it back in. Don’t let your negative thoughts hold you back from your dreams.
Love from Glocca Morra
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