Taking Singing to the Deepest Level

It doesn't seem to matter at what age you begin or continue the study of singing, of voice as an instrument to convey a song. The reality is that it is a journey on every level:physical, emotional, and spiritual. It certainly has been and continues to be so for me as I study voice and chant at the amazing Irish World Academy of Music and Dance at the University of Limerick. I have written about the struggle in this journey in past blog entries. The first exam I took last fall I was accompanied by the preverbal "frog in my throat". The show went on; the experience was humbling, because singing had always been easy, effortless and I have always pulled it out of the hat. Not that time.

Chant is not easy, at least not for me. There is a whole other technique for singing that requires stellar support and breath control and perfect placement of very pure vowel sounds. (American diphthongs, a soprano's vibrato, and bad singing habits don’t help.) This is some of what is required for singing Gregorian chant, but it is only the tip of the iceberg. It is also attention to text, which in this style and any other style of chant, reigns supreme. It is the understanding of modalities and movements of lines, final notes and reciting tones - so much intellectual and technical work. And this is something, that as I am learning to become a much better singer, I have gotten stuck in. Too much thinking and self- criticism and you can lose the joy of the journey.

But I am getting back on tract. I am starting, as instructed by my wise son,Max,to also spend time singing the other things I love to sing, music theater and light classic pieces, and in doing so the freedom of my singing is returning. I no longer feel locked in my body, confined and contained. I am much less self-conscious or self-critical to be exact. I understand all that I need to do technically to sing well and to be confident, and though not yet perfected, just the same it is now time to take a much deeper look.

This evening I had the opportunity to read one of my classmate's papers. It is a series of journal entries reflecting on her singing and performing experience and her connection to singing and to music; a reflection on the creative process. I was so moved because she so beautifully articulated and shared so many of my same feelings, and I learned so much. Izabella is a lovely young woman from Poland, about 27 and she is amazing,(as are the other young women in my class). It is a privilege to know her. She is so blessed to be starting this journey at such an early age. She has thought so much about what it means to her, I mean deeply so and in a different way than I have done. Reading her paper has gotten me to think more deeply also. She has inspired me and here is what I have gleaned so far from my own self-reflection.

We must understand our own deepest Soul-inspired motivations for our passions. In singing the Soul must be the singer. So here is what I am thinking. Learn the technique so that it becomes second nature, ingrained. Learn the song inside and out. Study, understand it, practice it until it is ingrained, and then simply let go and sing from the deepest place, from the Soul and through the heart. I understand now that the heart is really the vocal instrument. The body carries the sound but the heart calls out, yearns to convey the message, the intention. You can't go to that place if you are stuck in your head. I know this from meditation and writing poetry. Singing needs to arise in the same way. A singer or an artist of any creative endeavor must practice the technique, do all the homework and then step aside, get out of her own way, so that the inspiration for a song, a painting or a poem, a lovely weaving or form of pottery can bubble up from the Soul and manifest itself through the heart to take form in the light.

All I have ever really wanted to do my whole life, even with all the amazing opportunities I have had, is to sing, to share myself through song. My journey to Ireland is allowing me to do just that. So the upshot, well I actually have been moving in recent weeks to this new place of singing, one that is less self-critical and with a voice that is freer to take flight. The hard work is paying off but there is more work to do. Still, I am more confident that if I keep working at it my heart will prevail over my head . Today I taught a world chant meditation class at Glenstal Abbey for a small group who wanted to have a taste of the chant of diverse traditions. This is the second workshop I have done this fall here in Ireland and I look forward to doing more. I found myself just singing, through my heart and teaching about what is my joy and passion. I am ,in all this work and study, moving myself along in order to fulfill my lifetime of desire, to just sing, to sing from my heart and to “ sing for my supper” as I make the teaching of chanting meditation the next thing, perhaps my real life's work. I am excited and grateful for all these opportunities, my teachers, and loving and supportive friends and family who are helping to make this possible. Thank you all.

Love from Glocca Morra